Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Day3 because day 1 really was day2 and day1 is a blur....

So I was up to my hips in chicken elbows and a$$'$ last night and I was thinking.... ( Houston We Have a Problem!) No really, I was making Chicken Salad....... So NaNa NaNa Boo Boo !)
I really do keep things that I should be throwing away BUT for some reason I don't like.........
It seems I also have a couple fetish's..... HA Ha Ha not them kind.
I tend to keep Margarine bowls , Don't know where the lids are BUT I have the bowl parts, I also Love take out containers, convenience store plastic cups, old straws, egg cartons and garbage bag ties *eyes rolling here*....
But still, the person with the stranger fetish is my Father In Law, Bill , He seems to like Canned Creamed Corn and French Cut Green Beans, The problem with this is he thinks we do too, so he gave me 2 cases of the stuff a year ago and there's still 2 cases left. That's absolutely going to the shelter in brown paper bags so people don't stare.... He also likes to dumpster dive, No really, He does. He gives us stuff I know someone , somewhere has thrown away but he thinks we need it so he dives in and viola' it's ours.....*sigh* I have 4 Vacuums, 2 floor scrubbers, at least a dozen turkey platters, 4 turkey roasters and about 5 stereos, well pieces of stereos.......
and he thinks we have issues.....
I also seem to like bits of silverware I haven't had the whole set of for years.....
I seem to like little screws, nuts and burnt out light bulbs.... Go figure!
I have found that we haven't in 2 years cleaned our refrigerator . ( that's not true, Its just been since my quirky Son in Law moved out, He was my "go do it boy" for quite awhile......) LOL....
I also found that I have all the bills and paper work for 19 years of marriage...... I have the receipt for our first Motel room together! Seriously! No Lie~~~
I seem to have another fetish because, I have about 100 Bar coasters and about 40 blankets and quilts... Hello-We live in Florida. We also have at least 4 Coats each, 2 sets of gloves and about 12 umbrellas(Hey It rains allot here).... My Husband and I have clothes that neither of us has worn in years.....
I had to come to terms that Georg and I like to take Nude pictures and lots of me flashing my Boobs and a$$ at anyone who will look(During Bike week here in Daytona Florida, Hey I made a whole dollar that night-Guys that are drunk truly do see 36-24-36 *shaking head*, WooT!). All I can say here is Crack Kills & sing the song : "Do your boobs hang high, Do your boobs hang low, Can you tie them in a knot, Can you tie them in a bow" sung like the song: "do your ears hang low")
I realized with careful afterthought that, I will never have to buy another cake pan, cook book, decorating tip or cookie cutter in my life or my Children's life or even maybe my Grand Daughters life......
I also now know that having dust 2 inches thick can and will choke the life out of you while moving things around.....
I now know what, the thing with long strings and the stick with straws on it is used for!
I also now know what that yellow stain on my area rug is and I have joined my 2 Male Dachshunds in the pee pee anonymous club, they start next week. The De-nutting appointment has been made too!
I made a note to self: Buy about 500 hangers, That helps the crap falling out of the closet stay in it's place. I also joined myself into a club too, Its the club for people who hang onto sock(s) that have one missing, a hole, 2 holes or just a bit of thread hanging around a heel and a toe, or are stretched out beyond all normal sockyness......
I have also decided to call the Cops on us for the Rolling Papers I found that I have absolutely NO reason to keep because We haven't smoked pot in days err I mean years......
I will also tell them I have a stem for crack BUT in my defense will have to say It has a rose in it, but since it was bought as a gift, they have outlawed them as paraphernalia.....*blink blink* - Hey we are trying to do our part for Neighborhood Crime Watch and Ya never know maybe we will win that reward on "Americas Most Wanted"
I also have finally after ALL these years decided to throw my "Bootylicious" killer blue velvet hot pants away ..... Yes, they say that across the rear, I had visions of making my Grand Daughter a pair that said BBlicious... I told my Daughter But I felt her piercing stare and forgot it as quickly as I thought it....
I then realized after staring at this stuff for hours that I, am a pack rat and that's either because my Parents dropped me on my head too much when I was a Baby OR they were pack rats too and we are like a tribe or something.....
So I am thinking after ALL these years that I carry WAY too much baggage around and I have started re-thinking saving every little thing I think I will need sometime. It starts NOW for me and I hope this is one fad I don't soon forget.....
So that's my post for today..... I hope your smiling because I am so full of s--t! LOL LOL
Peace!

2 comments:

Shinade said...

Oh my word woman you sound like my hudband...I thought I never would break him and my Mother(God bles her soul...that was when she was still alive and living with us) to stop washing out ziplock bags. My kitchen was a virtually a place where baggies hung everywhere drying out. Also I too will admit that I had my share of hot pants...in my teens and 20's and even won a wet T-shirt contest once....but, those days have long since gone. Anyway...my point is that mu hubby can go to the dump to haul off our stuff and, invariably every single time...he will come back with more than what he hauled off. This has been battle we have fought for 26 yrs. I mean just exactly how many broken microwaves does one person need in their storage shed? Good luck on packing...I really do not envy you this task. And, good luck on your PPP....I hope you can indeed make some money. ~jackie

Erin said...

Momma sounds like you are having fun!
I remember when Justin and I moved into our apartment 3 yrs ago..We have went through are things like 3 times and gotten ride of stuff we don't need and it is about that time again for us too.

I love you don't go over board with packing I don't want you to hurt yourself.
I LOVE YOU!!!!
XOXO
Your Angel Eyes