Erin: "She's Lying! This didn't happen I swear"
Everyone knows about Duct Tape (yes Duct Tape not Duck Tape)
Duct Tape is available in many colors, but as one friend told me, buy the silver because,
You can see it in the dark. LOL.....
Years ago something happened to my Daughter Erin that to this day brings laughter a few
jokes and her turning red faced and a little sadness. She is like me and has always had to fight to keep her weight down. Being overweight always brings a host of comments like: if you wanted to you could lose it, If you would exercise, you could lose it, If you just didn't like food so much you wouldn't have these problems .... Hello People , Some people are just doomed to be over weight. I am one of these people and so is my Daughter Erin. I don't think we will ever be "skinny".Maybe we don't want to be . I would like to have, money to pay my bills, new boobs, a better car, a couple million bucks, so that I could hire someone to lose the weight for me, a new house and no tummy, but Skinny isn't high up on my lists of needs. I think there are more important issues on peoples plates than my weight or anyone who's fat for that matter. But some like to make others downfalls or mishaps their business . I can't do anything about that so, I just say "fudge off" , well maybe not that nice but still.....
Anyway, As I was saying before I went off to Sugar land where everything is wonderful.
My Darling Sweet and Witty Daughter, for whatever reasons, at the age of 16 decided that
Duct tape made a great wrap to lose weight. Apparently She saw someone on Television(where else would such a hair brained scheme come from) wrap them selves in plastic wrap and they shed weight that way, so She decided she would try it. She forgot one thing or maybe she was too young to think about it but, one should NEVER apply Duct Tape to one's bare skin. I had noticed that she was wearing more clothing but had not questioned it. My youngest Daughter Jessica decided that she would go against all the things that Erin told her would happen to her if She told.... She came to me and said Mom ,Erin has a problem , She can't get the tape off of a few places. Well I wasn't (I admit it) paying much attention to what she was saying until she said "tape" and "off".... I then flew up off the chair, my head spun around and I was puking green globs all over the place, I then said : W H A T ....... in a trailing squeal , "Tell me what you just SAID" I said to Jessica. She looked at me , rolled her eyes as If ,what she was seeing was just her everyday normal Mother and not this crazed alien woman. She said "I just want you to come and help Erin" , I looked at her with my mouth open wider than any time in my entire life and said "WHAT"! "What is the problem?"
She rolled her eyes again as if someone had slapped her in the back of the head and they
were stuck that way..... She said this time in a way that even Alien Mom could understand,
"Erin has Duct Tape stuck on her legs, Well, Her hips and she has a problem, She needs you Mom."
I stomped to their Bedroom and flew the door open and said "What the hell is wrong with
you", You know the shocked crazy stuff we blab to our Kids when we just KNOW they have
done something "kid like" and we are gonna wanna kill them, well at least shake them a bit.
She had big tears in her eyes and a hint of an evil look in Jessica's direction. She said "Mom, I didn't think it would get stuck, I have almost all of it off except for this little bit". I looked down and wanted to sit down and cry too.... I was angry, Not just at the Duct Tape or Erin, but at the fact that we have to worry about how we look so much that we will go to any lengths to do it. Why does the person over there care if I'm fat , or have a pimple or even a handicap.... Don't they have enough to worry about. It seems to me that if everyone were the same; the same color , the same size , the same hair color, etc. that the world wouldn't be so much fun. We would all just be going along doing the same thing at the same time .
I helped Erin remove that Duct Tape , It hurt, but She will never adventure into that kind of "get skinny fast" place again. I don't know if She has scars, I hope not . I just want her to know that no matter what weight She is, I love her and the millions of funny adventures she put me through growing up. She is beautiful just the way she is.
I Love you Honey! ( hope you don't kill me for this .... LOL)