Old habits die hard......

"Our Sanford"


Yesterday we went to visit Sanford of Sanford and Son My In Laws. I guess I could stop at that and it would save time writing, but that wouldn't be much fun, now would it? Some of you may recall that Georg's Father loves to collect junk and He thinks we do too. I can't tell you how much really crappy trash great stuff he's given us, I mean anything that someones throwing away he's willing to stop and pilfer through, I think his family Tree must hold some Hobo's, Bag Ladies, Pack rats and even a Pirate or 2... His mouth starts to foam water, he gets a gleam in his eye and I think I even see a horn or two when he talks of the many trash piles, evictions and yard sales he has rambled through in his life, Its almost scary...... The problem here is that most of this stuff is out right crap not really worth the time he spends picking through and picking it up.
My Father In Law (Bill) thinks that hes doing people favors by picking it up and I guess in a way he is helping garbage men everywhere, well, at least in Melbourne Florida. We always have gaudy over the top over done Christmas in The Bromer household. Christmas morning looks like We are gluttons and our Motto is : the more the better we hit pay dirt. Pretty packages everywhere, kids falling to sleep before they finish opening all of their gifts, lots of crap to try and find a place for, Hot coffee cocoa, smokingCookies and people arguing over who's going to be the gift passer smiling ... Well, on to the point of this story....... One year the tree[s] were loaded, we were all looking to see which who had the biggest package admiring the beauty of it all. the big moment came, The paper was ripped off, our eyes looking on as we each opened our gifts, One by one we opened and it was like a sitcom on television , there wasother peoples trash yard sale finds in the packages.... I must admit some of it was less than junk,pure trash nice ...... But I had to draw the line when he gave Jessica, a mini sewing machine that had no source of power and William, an Amplifier for his Electric Guitar that did NOT work and probably NEVER had . The horror of it all.... It was at that point that I knew Bill was really a little black man named Sanford, who loved junk that my Father In Law had an addiction to other peoples trash! Oh My He's a dumpster diver!
Lets face it we have been swapping dust for years, Hes given us stuff we have left at his house back as gifts, Its a game....
Quite a few years ago, we passed these God awful statues back and forth just because no one wanted them and I guess because none of us has a clue it was fun....
He gives us stuff that has been used to death once already just to see if we can use it to death again..... I think its a game.
So yesterday Georg and I ,after having realized our own addiction to junk made a pact with each other "NO JUNK" "Just say NO" "No Dad, we don't have a spot". We arrived all primed and ready to say we DON"T need it to the junk demon his Father, We had discussed in length the subject and what would happen if he asked us if we wanted this or that.....
We were at the front door I had this feeling of dread we walked in, I was thinking RUN for YOUR life "hmmmm everything looks OK, no boxes anywhere, but there was a curtain blocking off the Den , I didn't have to labor in thought over what was behind curtain number 3 it for very long, He says to My Mother In Law : "open it for the day". I thought. there was a Christmas tree or something back there , even another stuffed deer head or hog head would have been a greater surprise than what we got, it was just a room of doom........
I looked in the room It looked like a flea market booth a music store, They had stereo equipment lined up , not a few stereos but bunches of different parts, there were woofers and tweeters, amplifiers, cassette decks , equalizers, CD players , DVD players, VHS decks ..... You name it, he had it. He even had Base Speaker system for Wills truck. He said without blinking an eye: "I would like to keep just one set, it doesn't matter if they match" and "you can have the rest" WHAT! we both start shaking our heads.... NO we wont, you cant make us, I'm getting a gun to shoot myself c a n 't......
Really Dad, We just moved and We are getting rid of the shit you keep forcing us to take stuff, Seriously....... He[Bill] looked hurt. He looked like we were turning on the Family and their history of junk dealers and dumpster divers giving.....
We said "NO Dad, we just can't do it". He lookedlike dumpster diver gone mad, itching to get at us and turn us on to the thrills of trash sad and hurt.
We ended up with a rocking chair, The only reason I got that is its really NICE . the speaker thing for Wills truck and a box of Diapers for BB.... There had also been those things that swirl when the wind hits them [wind chimes without the chime] but Georg was sneaky and through them out he thought, but as we were driving off his Dad threw them, as a last attempt at turning us over to the dark side , Into the truck bed.....

We were quite pleased with ourselves after all, we had managed to get out with our lives and no junk to do as we said we would. NO junk! Well if you don't count them stupid swirly things.......

Peace!