Well I did it.......

I finally met someone, who's cut everyone's throat on the way to the top, to get where she's is today shit doesn't stink..... Stop the presses, because this is one helluva moment in history! I went in to open the Deli yesterday and found that the night crew had not performed many of the vital operations of their job description, meaning they had slacked off and figured they would sit on their asses and do nothing and who gives a crap about the poor schmuck opening the damned place! They, set us back hours and that's just "not a good thing". The chickens take over night to marinate and we had to rush through and do them in like, well, 20 minutes.... The flaming rotisserie is a piece of shit complicated work of some dumb ass with nothing to do, idea of funny steel and gears. *blink blink*
OK, back to the minute I walked in the door......
I arrived at 7:35 AM, didn't have to be there until 8, but I am prompt if I'm nothing else. That or I'm a glutton for punishment. Well honestly, I had noticed half way through the drive to work, I had forgot to "glue" my teeth in and besides, it was payday and I was like, Woot Woot "It's time to collect pennies from the master", So I went in and asked for my paycheck, the girl at the front end desk, acted like I was taking money from her pocket and begrudgingly gave MY check to me, BUT not before I popped out the 1700.00 pieces of shit including my insurance cut fake teeth and said look if I don't glue these puppies in someones gonna get more than they paid for today. She looked like she was gonna be ill and hurried to hand over the the small, NO, tiny paycheck I have had to eat shit and not say a word for king's ransom I had worked my ass and fingers to the bone for (hey I even gave blood this week if you all recall) I hurried over and paid for the crap then ducked around a corner to put the "stuff" on and went ahead and clocked in, I was 8 minutes early by this time and quite certain I would get my left tit hacked off when they find out(Psst. wait until they find out I never got a lunch yesterday! Someone's gonna be on trial for murder one, You heard it here folks!) I hurried back and encountered my first obstacle of the morning.....

How to turn on the flaming piece of shit! (I'm sorry for the cussing today but I am full up and I can't take it anymore, I cuss, get over it! Ooh, I hope I didn't hurt any ones feelings, I'm such a big hearted fool that way.....) Anyway It says to turn on the hood, well think about your hood over your kitchen stove and make this hood 25 times bigger(well just much, much bigger) I could not find the hood switch to save my ass, I searched and searched and It was no where..... ( yes, I did attend the Flaming Rotisserie training, BUT, in my defense, Rain man held that class and I just couldn't follow him with all his stops in the lesson to ask why prices where so high in Palm Coast and if there were any good restaurants in West Palm Beach(that was his next FR stop over),Duuuh.... We live like, 6 flipping hours North of West Palm Beach, how the HELL would we know!!! He also asked where the nearest K-Mart was! I swear!)So after what seemed hours, I found the switch, Of course I would love to say I had a "light bulb" moment but It didn't happen that way. I was standing there and flung my hands up in the air and of course my eyes went too and I saw it, yep,way..... the Fark up there. I dragged a foot stool over and viola`! I turned it on..... so then I continue reading and it says fill the wood box, well I think it says put the wood in the wood box in the back of the cooker but what it means is fill the wood box UNDER the FR(flaming Rotisserie)...Oh , Well you should have seen my ass get into gear and grab the fire gloves and grab the NOW burning wood, I had read the next line and it said "DO NOT PUT THE WOOD IN WHILE PREHEATING THE COOKER!" Soooo here I was, smelling smoke starting to waft through the deli, having flashbacks of the fire alarm going off the first time they started it and grabbing burning wood and throwing it into water -LOL LOL LOL- YOU have to see the humor here because if I had not of been so upset, I would have been LAUGHING! So at long last that horror was over with and I was over at the other end of the deli working on the other stuff the worthless idiots had forgot the night before, I had to make 11 new salads from scratch to fill the case... That's ridiculous! So anyway, in between doing all this other stuff (half of which I haven't even gotten into because of time) I had customers who can't read signs that say we are not open for business until 9:00 AM and then insist you slice them 1/4 of a pound of every thing, cut this way and that way, "OH yes", did you get butterball turkey breast in"? I said "I don't know ma'am Ill check", The lady then says to me "LOOK! you better have because my cat doesn't like the rotisserie turkey breast you all sold me last time!" OK..... (I was thinking): I don't feed my dogs 7.99 a pound meat from the deli, so I could give a rats ass if your cat likes it or not LOL ..... Sorry to all animal lovers who will undoubtedly be offended!
I don't know what its like to be so nasty to people because I serve the public, I have NEVER been so nasty to people as they have been to me because of my job title! I'm serious some people think that because we serve the public we are below them....
Back to the deli......
At 9:00AM my Boss comes in, I love her, she's so sweet, but with the district people in here lately, shes has just kinda been in a daze like the rest of us. We get busy doing 10 different things at once and before you know it , it's 10:30 and the District Manager comes in( I thought they would not be back- I had m had 2 days off and I was hoping that it would be over by the time I came back. HA- was I wrong!
She comes in floating around asking why the wing bar wasn't set up and why the chickens were just making it on to the FR. "Just who opened" she cackled out,Debbie says "Judy did", She said to her "What has she been doing"? Debbie says "I don't know" and turns to me and says, "What have you been doing"
It took every thing I had not to get my big girl panties in a wad and cuss the hell out of both of them, I rattled off everything I had been doing and they both shut up, but then I heard them talking about it and they said there should be 2 people open the deli. I could have told them that IF they had asked me, I have got to teach myself that, I am stupid and I have no opinion, Well at least that's the way The upper management thinks...!
So By the end of the day I was dead tired. Finally after 48 years on earth I had met a real live witch,and I would love to kick her ass A person who's SHIT don't stink!

Here's a song for you to play , I loved this song while I was a teen but never knew I would be singing it to myself at work 33 years later....

Peace!